based on a conversation between Ben & Mike

When you’re at school, you are strictly told that you must refer to male teachers as Sir. Why is this?! To our knowledge, none of our teachers have ever been knighted. And yet they insist we call them ‘Sir’.

But the real quandary lies with the opposite sex. Female teachers are simply referred to as ‘Miss’. Despite the fact many of them are married, we still call them ‘Miss’. But if we were to follow the same logic as the male teachers, we should really call them ‘Dame’. But realistically you can’t put your hand up and say “Excuse me, Dame, I have a question.” Of course not, that’d look silly.

So let’s think of an alternative. When we write letters – don’t be silly, nobody writes letters these days, it’s all emails – we say ‘Dear Sir or Madam’. So maybe this is the answer. “Excuse me, Madam, I have a question.” That sounds more plausible a solution. But still a bit formal.

Maybe we should look at this in a different way. Maybe the male teachers should be brought down to the same level. We should call them ‘Mister’. “Excuse me, Mister, I have a question.” Now it sounds like you’re being taught by a stranger.

So really we should just call them teachers. “Excuse me, teacher, I have a question.” You may sound a bit posh, but at least you’ll be promoting equality.

Next time you’re in school – that’s if you’re still at school – try different names for your teacher. “Excuse me mate… M’lud… Oh mighty lord of the erasers.”

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