Recently, I had a birthday. Some of my A5 pieces of folded card with generic printed messages on contained money. I used some of this money to buy a few games for the Wii. I shall briefly review them for you now.
Monster Hunter Tri has a ridiculous title, it sounds like they tried to think of something original, instead of just Monster Hunter 3 or III, but Tri is just stupid. The game itself seemed promising, at the beginning you create your character, but there wasn’t a hell of a lot of choice, you had the choice of four, well, two costumes, both of them were on there twice in two different colours, which was pointless because you could change the colour yourself anyway. I made my character look like a rent boy in an Elvis wig. The gameplay itself seemed fine, but the combat was terrible. You struggle to face the enemy, who kindly stands around waiting for you, but when you get close it attacks you and sends you flying, and when it does it takes loads of health off you. I got annoyed with it and gave up in the end, a big let down.
Michael Jackson: The Experience was far too difficult for me. It seems like the sorta game that only actual dancers would be good at, that’s because it is. I’m sure it’s fun if you’re drunk at a party and someone sticks it on, but when you’re alone in your front room wheezing your guts out it’s not so fun. Also, the tutorials were crap. They’re a bunch of videos, and the first one was called Introduction, and it’s a five second video of people saying “Welcome to The Michael Jackson Experience.” and the second video was a warm up, which was a ten second video of a woman telling you to roll your neck and then your shoulders, and then… that’s it. There is no third video because you need to earn stars to unlock it, and you earn stars by PLAYING THE ACTUAL GAME! What’s the point in that? The tutorials are there to teach you how to play the game, if you learn by actually playing the game then there’s no need for tutorials.
Pokémon Battle Revolution is an alright game, pretty much the same as Pokémon Stadium, but personally, I thought Stadium was better, and that was release six years before this one. Surely, with all the technological advances and whatnot, your game should get better, but no. But still, it’s not bad, the battles are pretty much the same but they use the Wii remote well. The problems I had with it were the way you type stuff in (which you yourself saw), the fact that you can’t immediately have a two player game, you actually have to fight battles solo before you can buy another Battle Pass, and that’s another problem, unless you have a Pokémon game on the DS, you can’t select your own Pokémon, you have to use the ones they provide you, which is crap! Still, I’m gonna hold on to it coz I plan on getting a DS someday, well, depending on what games there is on it.
Job Island has an annoying Story Mode which involves a meteor crashing into Earth and I couldn’t be bothered with, so I quit that and had a go on the job games separately. They’re alright, some better than others, but I got fairly bored after a bit. It’s a good game though.
Emergency Mayhem was essentially Crazy Taxi but without any taxis. I was hoping it’d be like Incredible Crisis, with a mad story and crazy but fun mini games, but it wasn’t. A big let down.
Family Game Night 2 was pretty bad. I thought it’d be old school board games, but no, they’ve been changed slightly. For example, in Connect 4, you have two counters to drop in, and you’re allowed to drop two counters in the same spot, because one’s a solid one, and one’s a, I guess, hollow one, so that annoyed me. Jenga is almost unplayable with the rag doll physics they’ve put on it, so when you pull away one block the whole thing moves. Operation is crap, Pictureka! I’ve never played before but hated it, and I didn’t bother with Bop It. Overall, a bad game.
Family Party was a really good game, it’s all mini games (which most Wii games are), and they’re all similar to the games in Ninja Warrior and Takeshi’s Castle. I only played a little bit of it, but what I played I enjoyed. At first I thought it was going to be awful because I couldn’t make sense of the controls, but in the end I enjoyed it.
Sega Bass Fishing was the best game out of the lot, surprisingly. It’s just fishing essentially, you’re given a set weight of fish you need to catch, big fish weigh around 4-6 pounds, average fish about 2-3, and small fish 0-1 pounds. It’s pretty fun though, you can choose where you want to fish, what time of year you want to fish in, what time of day, and what weather you want to fish in. I’ve only played it a little bit, so I don’t know if any of that affects the game, if you get bigger fish in rainy weather or there’s smaller fish in the Summer and bigger in the Winter etc. There’s an Arcade Mode, which I haven’t yet tried, a tournament mode, practice mode and nature mode, where you’re allowed to fish at your own pace and you don’t have to catch a certain number of fish, it’s essentially a sandbox mode. The only problem I had was with Practice mode, which doesn’t actually tell you how to play the game, it merely gives you a taste of playing against the clock, like in arcade or tournament mode. The best way to learn how to play the game is to go to Nature mode, read the book, and have a go yourself.