Harry Potter and the Incredible Assumptions

Thoughts by Ben

Lately i’ve started re-watching the Harry Potter films in order, and I’ve noticed several things that don’t seem to make much sense. Things that later to prove to be fortunate guesses. So i’ve decided to outline them for each story and you can make up your own mind.

 

Philosopher’s Stone – “I have to go on.”

Right, so it’s their first year there. Therefore they don’t know what to expect anywhere in the castle. They haven’t explored every room and don’t know what could be lurking in the many rooms of Hogwarts. So, when they stumble upon a three headed dog in a forbidden part of the castle and notice that it is standing on a trap door they immediately assume it’s guarding something important that is in some way related to them.

So they find out it’s related to Nicholas Flamel, and they start investigating him and find out he made the philosopher’s stone. Then they see Snape walking with a limp, and assume he tried to steal the stone. Why?! There’s no connection. Couldn’t Snape have been bitten by a nargle or sprained it doing his exercises. They jump to too many conclusions and happen to be right about some of them. Harry assumes Snape has something to do with Voldemort because his scar hurts when Snape’s around, again another assumption.

Then they go see Hagrid and he tells them Snape is guarding the stone. Hagrid tells them he isn’t trying to steal it, but they think their giant friend is lying to them and carry on with their suspicion. They tell one of the teachers that they know about it and the teacher tells them to stay well away. Surely after all these warnings they should just leave it. So what if Snape is stealing it, what’s it got to do with them anyway?! There’s enough teachers and older students in the castle to stop him if something does happen. And even if he does steal it, the stone turns metals into gold and gives the owner an elixer to live forever. He’s hardly likely to take over the world with gold and old age is he!

But no, they insist on risking their lives by investigating further. And when they get down to the underground bit, there’s several things they must first get past. Things which just so happen to play to each of their strengths. Harry does the broom flying one, Ron does the Wizard’s Chess one, and Hermione solves some riddle to do with potions (in the book, not shown in the film). Also, when they get down there, the chessboard is all set up ready for a game. Someone has already been down recently (because of the harp that has been ‘charmed’ to play by itself) so they must have had to go through the chessboard. When Harry leaves it, it’s in a giant mess. So did ‘Snape’ clean up after himself? I’m guessing not.

And then… aaand THEN! Just before Harry leaves Ron and Hermione, he is told by Hermione “You’re a great wizard Harry.” But where has she gotten this opinion from, as throughout the whole of the film, Harry doesn’t cast a single spell! So Ron is now injured – from falling of a stone horse – and Harry says “Ron’s right, I have to go on.” No he’s not! Why must it be you?! Okay, it later turns out Voldemort is down there and only he (possibly) can stop him, but why couldn’t someone else go down?! There’s probably hundreds of kids in that school and it just so happens that every time something bad happens it’s directly linked to Harry Potter. Why can’t we see a bit where a giant squid attacks the school and it turns out to be Seamus Finnigan’s father who is an animagus? But as well all know, Harry is egocentric and it’s all about him.

 

Chamber of Secrets – “My name is Harry Potter.”

There’s one scene in this that doesn’t make any sense to me. Again it’s Harry doing something ridiculous that turns out to be useful.

In one scene they find Moaning Myrtle, who tells them a book was thrown at her. Harry takes it upon himself to take the book. In the common room he looks through the book and finds it is blank. So, what does he do? He writes “My name is Harry Potter.”

Why?! Is he planning to start an autobiography about 20 pages into the book? Why would you write that?! But worse is yet to come. He then stops and looks at the book, possibly admiring his own handwriting. The writing disappears and a message appears saying “Hello Harry Potter, my name is Tom Riddle.”

Harry then makes the amazing assumption that Tom Riddle, who he’s never heard of, has something to do with the Chamber of Secrets. Cos that’s what I do when I meet someone new, assume they’re causally linked with whatever is happening in my life at the time.
“Hello, I’m Brian.”
“Ah, hello Brian. My mother lost her phone earlier, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you? Hm?! ARE YOU A THIEF BRIAN?!”

The message then replies that it does and shows Harry a rather cryptic vision from the past which Harry then deciphers and goes on another adventure. The professors even go so far as sending Gilderoy Lockhart down to the Chamber. So the professors have got this covered. But no, Harry still insists on going down, because he has extraordinary foresight and knows that what’s down there is to do with him.

 

Prisoner of Azkaban – “Lumos maxima.”

My first major quarrel with the third film comes right at the start. What’s the number one rule of Hogwarts? [“You don’t talk about Hogwarts?” – Mike] It’s that underage wizards can’t use magic outside of school. At the very start of the film Harry is practicing the Lumos Maxima spell. So he’s doing magic outside of school. Surely he should be expelled for that. Even his uncle Vernon points it out, later saying “You’re not allowed to do magic outside of school.”

The Trouble With Herman

Another thing i’ve noticed, especially in the first three movies, is that a lot of the adventures seem to be instigated by Hermione – or as my Grandad calls her, Herman.

In Philosopher’s Stone, she is the one who pushes Harry and Ron to research Nicholas Flamel and the stone. In Chamber of Secrets, she is the one who makes Harry and Ron take the polyjuice potion to gather information from Malfoy. In Prisoner of Azkaban she does all the time travelling and drags Harry along.

All of these lead Harry to the events that follow, but why is Hermione so determined that Harry should go on all these adventures? Does she get off on him dying or something? Or perhaps she’s just really bored and wants to see him do something dangerous and fun.

Goblet of Fire – “I confess myself… disappointed.”

There is one point in this film that really made me go ‘Hang on a minute’. No, it’s not the insane casting for the weirdly Chinese/Scottish Cho Chang – “Ah eat mah haggis with chopsticks” – but more something that Voldemort says that doesn’t add up. When he comes back he says:

Welcome, my friends. Thirteen years it’s been, and yet, here you stand before me, as though it were only yesterday. I confess myself…disappointed. Not one of you tried to find me… Crabbe! Macnair! Goyle! Not even you, Lucius.

But what I want to know is this. Harry is 14 years old. He says so earlier on in the film. And he’s in the same year as Crabbe and Goyle. So thirteen years ago, Crabbe and Goyle were both roughly only one year old. So why would Voldemort expect them to try and find him??? They were barely old enough to know who he was! I know he’s mean and all, but you can’t expect one year old infants to wander around killing wizards and looking for him. Maybe it’s a reference to the Hitler youth, only Voldemort recruits much earlier. “Can he breathe?” “Yes.” “He’ll do.”

 

And that’s it for now. No, I’m not a fool, I know there’s 4 more films to analyse yet, but I’m going to leave them alone for now and come back to them later in… PART TWO! Ooh, a two-parter. How could he do that?! Well I have. So there.

I’m looking forward to watching the next film, as it introduces my two favourite characters in Harry Potter, namely Luna Lovegood and Nymphadora Tonks.

Oh, and I’ve just realised something. Something obvious that I overlooked. Maybe it’s Crabbe and Goyle’s fathers/mothers. Damn. Ruined a perfectly good argument there. Although it’s still not that obvious in the film cos they’re wearing masks.

1 Comment

  1. Steff on 28/01/2014 at 6:48 pm

    About Harry potter and the goblet of fire, it’s crabbe and goyles fathers they are talking too

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